Breaking fast

I don't mention my personal life as much as I did with previous blogs. I hate to shed those older blogs but it seems like the aim of those blogs evolved into this passion that I have with WoW. Which would be better to nurture: an addiction of WoW or sex? Addiction is a inherently negative word used to describe the overwhelming urges to feed oneself with external stimuli so this is an exaggeration.

I swore off physical indulgence since December and embraced my New Year's Resolution of "No Hookups" until Monday. If you're the kind of person who doesn't wish to read about casual sex, stop now.

I arrive at the hotel, aching for relaxation in the form of a bath. He arrives, startling me by opening up the bathroom door as I'm about to enter the vanilla cupcake bubblebath I prepared. I scream in embarrassment :) How funny of me to react so vocally. The jets create mounds of bubbles and I ease into the floaty sleeping luxury that is being immersed in water. New York City bathtubs should all aspire to be as wonderful. I chat with him, grinning from ear to ear, peering up at him from my very exposed position in the water...most of what I remember visually was a blur. I purr as he rubs my back, as painful as his relaxing touch was on my sore muscles are.

I remember shaking his hand, embracing him in a hug. I remember being pleased by his tongue and fingers and grabbing his hair, raising my hips off the bed. I remember putting him in restraints and tickling him, his writhing body exciting me and pressing up again my pussy.

I remember teasing his cock and after hours of teasing, sucking it into my mouth, eager to feel the length in my throat. I'm out of practice but I remember my techniques: engage the lips, the tongue, keep hydrated. I suck for hours, making up for months and yet my jaw isn't sore.

I remember being amused at his forgetfulness at the wedding band he wears; to mention it would disrupt the mood.

I remember his large hands rubbing at my back, his cock rubbing at my ass and I want him to mount me from behind. Seems like Extra Large condoms are never big enough...they're too tight. Or maybe it's been a while since he's used them. Or maybe he's simply afraid of the consequences. Or maybe I'm too small...when he opens me up, I'm afraid for a moment of the jarring tightness. I surely forget when he wakes me up in the middle of the night and I ride him and I don't feel the pains I do with my toys when I rock them as much as I did him. He uses my toy, not to jam it in me like the inexperienced boys I've been with but to play with me and I come for what seems like a very long time non-stop it's pulled out of me with no jarring spikes of lesser or greater pleasure.

I remember how good it is to hear a guy moan uncontrollably when he get to that point where he wants to gush into my mouth. I know the second time he is driven sololy by his cock and the motions I use with my gloved hand and tight lips and fast tongue. I know it because he can't speak and yet is driven to express something with his voice.

I wake up to his fingers brushing my face, hugging him before work and him telling me to not let anyone tell me that I'm not an amazing person. I can't remember his expression as I'm without my glasses and can barely keep my eyes open in the dim light. I am amazed that I do not have the feeling of being abandoned as I did with some previous encounters; I feel content.

I drifted in and out of sleep, starving but not ready to face this strange day where I had no set routine to worry about. It takes me 3 hours to get home and I can feel myself glowing, male eyes being drawn to me. I jump on WoW, play a little, go to my room to unpack and fall asleep at 7 to be woken in the middle of the night by rain.

Figuring out the pull with the Illidari Council

Me:

I cried at my first attempt with the Illidari Council. Tears and snot and the whole god-awful sniffles that make my voice hiccup. It's not necessarily at that I hesitated and wiped the raid; it's the fact that the raid leader expressed something which ultimately wasn't constructive: he was disappointed with the pull. Or with me. Either way, they're the same thing.

Sometimes, I raise my voice in defensiveness. Sometimes, I may bark. But this crying...probably not completely stemming from this encounter. I have an exterior of hardness which keeps me from the brunt of the minor things that any young woman faces in NYC since birth...it's this strength I can draw on to withstand most anything, even the harshest criticism. Yet I'm a sponge, absorbing whatever comes at me.

Aftermath:

Officer:

What you are doing on that pull is dealing with three targets at once; Mage Tank for the BoP, yourself for the shield, and the rogue for your normal pickup moves.

Here's a way you could do that without needing to switch targets:

1. Focus on Mage Tank (/focus while you target Mage Tank), then switch your target to the rogue before the pull. Use a focus macro (/cast [target=focus] Blessing of Protection) to cast BoP on Mage Tank. You are still targeting the rogue.

2. Use a self defense macro to shield yourself going in. (/cast [target=player] Divine Shield). I usually bind this to a mouse button but you may prefer a key press. You will still be targeting the rogue.

3. Run in and judge righteousness on the rogue, or however else you want to pick him up.One thing I was wondering was if it would be better to throw your shield before you run in. Mage Tank's Pyroblast has a six second cast time. Say you have a one second reaction time to see his cast starting and cast BoP: That would leave five seconds. You could throw your shield (1.5 seconds), DS (instant cast) and run in, all before Mage Tank's Pyroblast lands.

Me:

For the first attempt last night, I tried that last suggestion. To attempt it as explained, I'd do this:

1. Focus on mage tank.

2. Target rogue mob.

3. Cast SoR.

4. Bop mage tank.

5. DS myself. (Perhaps make a macro that does both 4+5 with two button pushes)

6. Run to the middle of the stairs and drop a consecrate. Middle of the stairs is because if I run up top, they've already run toward someone else, which misses out on the ticks.

7. Judge on rogue mob.

For 6, I could use Avenger's Shield after Mage Tank's Bop/my DS and drop a consecrate after.

For 7, the rogue offtank (a druid) can grab the rogue to hand it off to me.

Another officer:

In the future I think we're going to be using the mage tank to initiate the pull, in order to prevent issues with Zerevor's random behavior, like running toward the back of the room at the start of the pull. If you run in before mage tank's pyroblast has been cast and the mage runs out of range, it's basically a wipe because mage tank will have no threat and no dampen magic, and you or a healer will be killed by Zerevor as soon as he lands a spell. All it really means, if the situation were otherwise the same, is that instead of running in with divine shield you would just BoP mage tank and then focus on picking up your target after it started moving.

Observations:

Why do I bother consecrating? Why is this method that much more benefitual than having the tanks charge in? It's not High King Maulgar but what's the drawbacks of having the tanks run in? Is the magic damage that extreme? I need to reread this encounter.

Conclusion:

Tanking is stressful. Crying is an outlet for that stress and frustration. Figure out how the fight works and do better.