A week ago, I had a person tell me, "You need a boyfriend, then you be happy!" I didn't even bring up the idea of relationships, I was talking about feeling crappy :P
Ever since I've been back on my medication, I've felt stabler in my thoughts, felt safer. Thoughts of self-harm has lessened tremendously as I can effectively control the impulses and emotions before they escalate. I still have 3 more months to feel the full effect.
Besides leading my high school reunion solo, working two jobs and trying to reconnect after being emotionally estranged from my family for decades, I'm pretty exhausted. WoW seems to be the only thing where I can get a glimmer of enjoyment. Even self-maintance is repetitive and a chore. WoW adds the pounds, exercise takes them off (somewhat).
Maybe after 9 months, I'm ready to start into the fun of finding companionship. Yay dating. Even now I chuckle at myself for being so reluctant. Crazy boys. And crazy girls. It could be fun, it could be boring.
Maybe I'm not so ready after all. It's only now that I can understand my propensity for falling for impossible guys and letting go of it is difficult. I haven't had enough of this taste of unrequited infatuation. But I'm getting there.
