Oh what a night

after a dream about a cousin of my cousin and attending his brothers, and reminder please forgive the lack ofproper grammar because my droids inabilty to accept the shift or symbol buttons, i woke up to the horrible realization ten years after the fact. i had invited a gay sociopathic liar to my home where he stole my first harry potter book and took a bit of money from me purchasing a terrible book. i never heard from him again and the sad thing is that i trusted him. this trust in the good in people has led me to make some of the worst decisions of my life. i attended his brothers funeral btw.

i feel absolutely terrible and yet i feel like this could be a start to mending some of my self hatred. it wasnt because of my lack of being on top of things. alton had a responsibility too and he failed it. all this time, i held on responsibilty, relieving others of it... like i have had to do with my brother and father. i grieve now in these early hours.