Aggravated

I'm getting mad during these raids. Not like casual-run-with-older-players-who-are-slow mad. I'm getting aggravated, telling people to fuck off and snapping at directions. People are quiet about it but this behavior upsets me most of all. There are some real-life frustrations that contribute but I noticed that my enjoyment of a run seems to be lessened by one particular negative influence: T, a young raid leader. I would rather not go on a run with him.

Years ago, I had this issue with another guild member and eventually we have gotten to a good balance of mutual disregard/respect. I learned to tune out his negativity as he doesn't contribute to the success of the raid vocally. T, immature as he is, is a leader who "knows" what he's doing and can lead a raid to success...but sometimes to the detriment of my patience.

I don't expect him to change nor if I had a conversation with him, do I think he'd think there's anything to apologize for or work on and in a way, he's right. Last night, on the Deconstructor, T, a DK, was only focused on dpsing when he was assigned the role of offtank. He fudged up his assignment by letting a mob run loose...because he was dpsing the boss. Any other tank, he would have been yelling at him to pick it up and ask him what he was thinking. Startled by a mob running loose, I pick it up and do what I needed to.

Of course we oneshotted the boss but I was bewildered by T's nonchalance of who was supposed to pick the mob up. He dismissed my inquiry of whether I can count on him to tank, as psychobabble. So when I clarified my question, if he'll tank when he's assigned to tank, he was nonresponsive. I was upset by this and ignored him but I was pretty upset throughout the raid. When the official raid leader asked me what I expected from a question like that; I suppose I'd like an acknowledgment of his fault...but that would be unrealistic.

After the raid, the official raid leader and I briefly discussed how we can adapt to my rage issues in the raid, one option being that I play dps. However, after much thinking, I realized that I hated being treated like a child during the trash. When we come to a new trash, the official raid leader would ask me if I've done it. I've done all the trash mobs in the 10 man before but it's only been a week since I've done Ulduar. There are some complications with trash pulls as they are challenging...but they're all the same. Run in, watch for a particular ability, figure out positioning. When I ask why it's necessary to single me out to ask whether I've done a trash that the guild has only done one other time in a raid setting, T responded, "because the raid will die".

I don't like getting yelled at by T. I don't think anyone likes it. I know some other folks have acknowledged T's rudeness but are willing to put up with it. A friend approached me and has offered to speak to T in a diplomatic fashion about adapting his behaviors to not be so aggressive toward people who are still learning. I know he is capable as a speaker and T respects him.

However, I know there's a shortage of capable tanks. I don't want the raid to rely on bad tanks but I acknowledge that having me be upset at most of the raids isn't letting me have fun. I can't mute T but if I could, I would do so in a heartbeat. T will be there for every single raid and as thick as my skin can be, it's at the cracking point.